Carvana's Buying Dodge Chrysler Jeep Ram Dealerships? What Fresh Hell Is This?
So, Carvana's buying up Dodge Chrysler Jeep Ram dealerships now? Seriously? Just when you thought the used car market couldn't get any weirder, this happens. I mean, didn't Carvana almost go belly up like, yesterday? Weren't they the poster child for overvalued tech garbage that was supposed to "disrupt" everything?
From Paperwork Nightmare to Brick-and-Mortar?
Remember the good old days when Carvana couldn't even handle basic paperwork? They were losing dealer licenses left and right because customers couldn't get their titles processed. Michigan, Connecticut...the list goes on. It was a total clown show. And now they think they're qualified to run new car dealerships?
The article says Carvana is calling this a "small test in a single market." Right. And I'm the Queen of England. They're probably trying to find a way to offload all their garbage inventory onto unsuspecting customers who actually want a new car. Because let's be real, who in their right mind would trust Carvana with a used one after all that mess?
And why Dodge Chrysler Jeep Ram? Are those franchises just cheap and easy to get ahold of? Is Stellantis desperate to offload them onto anyone with a pulse and a checkbook? You gotta wonder what kind of deal Carvana got to make this happen. Carvana Is Slowly Becoming a Chrysler-Dodge-Jeep-Ram Chain for Some Reason
The Ghost of CarMax Looms Large
It's mentioned that CarMax, Carvana's supposed rival, actually got out of the new car dealership game. That should tell you everything you need to know. CarMax, for all its corporate blandness, isn't completely brain-dead. They saw the writing on the wall. So why is Carvana running headfirst into the same brick wall?
Maybe it's a way to legitimize their business, to get a physical presence they can fall back on if the online-only thing collapses entirely. A sort of…escape hatch?
Of course, it could be something else entirely. The article asks why Carvana may have sought franchises in Arizona and Texas. I got a better question: Why is Carvana still a thing?
Meanwhile, Back at the Dealership...
Speaking of Dodge Chrysler Jeep Ram dealerships, did you hear about Nino Sita over at Lindsay Dodge Chrysler Jeep Ram? Apparently, he turned that place into a CPO powerhouse. Good for him. He increased new car sales by almost 200%. That's impressive, I guess. But let's be real, who cares about some random dealership in Virginia when Carvana's out there buying up franchises like they're going out of style? Which, offcourse, they might be.
He credits his success to a "one-team philosophy." Sounds like corporate BS to me. But hey, whatever works, right? He also does cash blasts for his service advisors. I bet that gets their attention more than any "one-team philosophy" ever could. Let's be real.
I heard they also have an aggressive vehicle acquisition strategy. Gotta give the man credit, the hustle is real.
Give Me Strength...
So, what's the play here? Is Carvana trying to pull off some kind of reverse Uno card move and become a legitimate car company? Are they going to start selling new Dodge Challengers alongside their questionable used Toyotas? It's all so insane. I need a drink. Maybe several. And honestly, I think I need a new line of work. Because if this is the future of the car industry, I want no part of it.
