Alright, let's get one thing straight: I'm not here to shed a single tear for the Trump family's crypto woes. In fact, I'm cracking open a beer. You know, the one I bought with actual dollars, not some memecoin that's probably worth less than the digital ink it's printed with.
So, apparently, Trump's second term (God help us all if that ever happens again) saw his family diving headfirst into the crypto pool. Now, Crypto Crash Is Eroding Wealth for Trump’s Family and Followers is reporting that Eric Trump’s Bitcoin mining venture has tanked by roughly half its peak value, and Trump's social media company's Bitcoin hoard ain't looking too healthy either. Shares are "hovering near an all-time low." Color me shocked.
The "Smartest People" in the Room?
Remember when these guys were riding high, bragging about their genius investments? Now they're getting a "crash course in the wild volatility" of crypto? Please. This isn't some unforeseen act of God; it's the predictable outcome of betting the farm on digital tulips. I mean, c'mon.
And what about their followers? The ones who bought into the hype, thinking they could get rich quick by throwing their hard-earned cash at a Trump-branded memecoin? They're the real victims here, offcourse. But hey, maybe they'll learn a valuable lesson about trusting billionaires who promise them the moon. Or maybe they won't. Some people just never learn.
Bitcoin's Identity Crisis
But it's not just the Trump family's misfortune that's got me thinking. There's a bigger issue at play here: Bitcoin's existential crisis. VanEck CEO Jan van Eck is out there questioning whether Bitcoin even has "enough encryption" or "enough privacy." He even pointed to Zcash as a potentially better alternative. Seriously?
Van Eck says, "Ultimately, VanEck has been around before Bitcoin. We will walk away from Bitcoin if we think the thesis is fundamentally broken." Okay, boomer. But wait, isn't VanEck trying to sell us all Bitcoin ETFs? So, they're simultaneously hyping it up and threatening to ditch it? Sounds legit.
And then there's the quantum computing boogeyman. Apparently, those super-fast computers could crack Bitcoin's encryption. Vitalik Buterin himself is worried about it. Elliptic curves are going to die? What the hell does that even mean?
But hold on a second. Samson Mow, some "Bitcoin Maxi," is calling out Van Eck, telling him to "stay in your lane and push the latest shitcoin narrative." So, who are we supposed to believe? The guy trying to sell us Bitcoin ETFs, or the guy shilling some other crypto? It's a snake pit, I tell ya. A digital snake pit filled with promises of riches and the crushing reality of loss.
Millionaire Maker or Fool's Gold?
Speaking of riches, I keep seeing these articles about Bitcoin being a "millionaire maker." Supposedly, there are over 145,000 Bitcoin millionaires out there. But let's be real, how many of those millionaires are still millionaires after this latest crash? And how many regular Joes are now holding the bag, wondering when (or if) their "investment" will ever recover?
They say Bitcoin grew at a compound annual growth rate of 50% from 2017 to 2025. Impressive, sure. But it also collapsed in value in both 2018 and 2022. So, it's basically a rollercoaster designed to separate fools from their money.
And sure, some experts are predicting Bitcoin could hit $1 million by 2030. Cathie Wood, Brian Armstrong, Jack Dorsey... all the usual suspects are pumping it up. But give me a break. These are the same people who told us NFTs were the future.
Maybe I'm just getting old and cranky. Maybe I don't understand the magic of blockchain and decentralized finance. But honestly, it all sounds like a bunch of hype designed to enrich a few insiders while leaving the rest of us holding the bag.
So, What's the Real Story?
It's all a grift. A giant, digital grift. The Trumps getting burned is just icing on the cake. Don't fall for it.
